It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
