Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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