Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
