Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
