Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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