she woke up with a sticky ear
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
