Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
