Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
