I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
