I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
