Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize