Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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