He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I have tasted many bathrooms
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I see more hoeing in ur future
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