oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
