WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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