i don't like sucking hair
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
