Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
