oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Bring me that man meat
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
