You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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