We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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