nut hugger
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
