So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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