it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
