Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I FOUND THE LEGS
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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