I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
