ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
