how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize