you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
