You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
