New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
