How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
