I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
