That's intense
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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