The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
