Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize