so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
