How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Please, let me fuck your mom
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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