I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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