Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize