Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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