You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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