Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
