Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Never joke about your clitoris.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
