No period for spring break; use this wisely.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
