I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
