omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
