The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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