look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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