The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
