Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
love makes seman taste better
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm always down for nudity.
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