Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
