I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
