I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
