belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
