so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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