Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
