I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
