My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
