So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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