We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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