i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
